2014 :)

Things are so different now.

Transferring to a new school is probably one of the best decisions I have ever made ;) The syllabus is much easier, I don't have to put up with so much stress and most importantly, I have found someone right. Like finally. One that really appreciates me and doesn't take me for granted. One that doesn't hurt me (well he does bully me sometimes but it's okay cuz we bully each other). One that actually LOVES me. I... Idk, I just love him so much :') Like whenever he's not around, I'll miss him damn much that it drives me crazy. If you were to ask me why I love him, I don't have an exact answer. I love him and I just do. I love being with him, I love talking to him, I love how he makes me laugh, I love the way he makes me feel... He's just different. And I guess this is actually the first time I've ever been with a guy that makes me feel like marrying him someday. Stay together, build a family together... I wanna stay with him forever :) <3

Ever since I transferred here, he has always been there, guiding and helping me. We spent a lot of time together, and somehow fell for each other, only took a month before we started dating. Yeah I know it's kinda fast :P Our classmates kept saying that we were gonna be in a relationship someday, and I kept denying, but look at us now xD Glued to each other everyday, inseparable :3 He's the reason I look forward to go to school everyday (shhhh hehehe) C:

I'm just lost for words somehow cuz my feelings for him is kinda hard to be put into words @@ I'm just really glad and thankful to have him in my life, I thank God for giving me the opportunity to meet and fall in love with someone like him. He's my lover, my brother, my best friend, and he's also kinda like a dad to me sometimes :P All of me loves all of him <3

Wondering in confusion......

Look up there. Yeah. I'm now wondering in confusion /.\

So this guy... He has been ignoring me lately. Not exactly "ignoring", but I always have to wait for HOURS (more than 24 hours sometimes) till I receive a reply from him. Reason? DotA. HAHAHAHA. DotA is more important than me. YAY I AM A LOSER :D

And now other guy has appeared. He seems to be so in love in me in ways sometimes even I don't understand @@ Though I never really believe in sweet words... Cuz no one is to trust :) Even so, his words always seem to make my eyes watery and I just sit there like a retard, crying and smiling all at the same time.

So I wonder, which guy should I pick? I'm not even sure if that first guy likes me back, but... Sigh. This is so complicated. I don't wanna hurt anyone :( But I can't deny that I do have a little feelings for the second guy. I'm still attracted to the first guy too, and I did promise that I would wait for him (though I'm not really sure what am I actually waiting for, cuz I have no idea if he likes me back). UGH DAMN IT.

I honestly thought that I wouldn't fall in love or even have feelings for anyone else, but I was wrong. I'm the faithful type, to be honest. It's his fault for ignoring me all the time, while someone else is crazily trying to get my attention. But I feel really bad for treating the second guy like... Well, a second guy.

Well, I guess I shouldn't rush :') I'm still young anyway, and someday "second guy" will probably realize that I'm not as good as he thinks I am. On the other hand, "first guy" always tells me that his true self isn't what he appears to be. "Outside I'm trying to warn you about my inner beast, inside is a whole different world I'm trying to suppress"... I still remember those words he told me, but still, I couldn't figure out what message he was actually trying to convey ._. That dude really loves speaking in riddles, but then again, that's what makes me attracted to him. Yeah I know I'm weird.

So... I guess that's all for today. So freaking tired and hungry right now @@

Gone.

Magically, beautifully, awkwardly

We met like that

Never thought you'd be gone that fast

Just in the blink of an eye

Little did I know

You would mean so much to me

Nor did I expect

That I would fall for you

Those times we stay up late

Merely for talking to each other

Those stupid jokes and silly stories

I was unknowingly attached and attracted

The way you make me smile

The way you make me blush

The way your voice remains in my head

The way your words captivate my heart

These things don't seem important

But these are the things

That make me love you

A little more than I should

Right now we're far apart

Hoping we'll remain close at heart

I'll always miss you

More than you miss me

If only I had hugged you

The last time before you left

I wouldn't be regretting now

But nothing can be changed

If only I hadn't been too shy

And grabbed the opportunity when I had it

Just like what you said

"It's worth a memory."

But then again

I keep wondering

Would I'd been able to let you go

If I really hugged you?

Would I'd been able to let you go

Without dropping a single tear?

I'm sorry dear

I'm not strong enough

There are times we have to let go

Of the people that we love

If fate allows

I'd be your best friend, your soulmate, your listener, your supporter forever

We're not lovers

But more than friends

This feeling is wonderful

But at times it hurts like hell

If I could go back in time

I'd make things right

Do all the things I should've done

And tell you everything I should've told you

Now you're gone

Insecurity is filling me

The fear of being replaced...

It could happen anytime

Cause somehow I guess

That my feelings for you

Are a little more deeper

Than your feelings for me

I wish I could keep my emotions controlled

That I won't fall deeper each day

Into this endless valley of love

Unless you would catch me, before I get hurt

Right now I wish you

Nothing but the best

Hoping you'll always remember me 

Just like how I'll remember you 

Thanks for being a part of my life 

Being there when I needed you 

I believe it would be hard 

To ever find someone just like you 

Life now

Whew, time flies at a tremendous speed. Things were way different last year, and I never thought I'd be what I am today... I feel like I've changed and grown a lot, but then again, maybe it's just me.

Never thought I'd meet a guy like him. I feel attached, attracted, nobody's ever made me feel the way that he does. He's got it all, he's nothing else but everything I've ever wanted. I've never felt so connected to anyone before, it's like... We belong together. He's my motivator, my supporter, my advisor, my... I don't know what else xD

Thanks to my sharp tongue, literally no one could defeat me when I get into an argument of some sort :3 I guess he's pretty much the only one? Never thought there'd be such a guy. He just attracts me in a way no other guys could. He's different, but that makes us similar. Our language is definitely something other people couldn't comprehend :P He understands my joke and I understand his, that's really rare. Not everyone could understand my sarcasm, when I talk in riddles, but him, he just seems to understand. And he's a guy O_O Really never expected to ever meet such a person :O

This whole thing is just weird. The first time we met dates back to 2 years ago. I was an introvert, never really talked much, so when he said hi all I did was smile. He said I blushed too? But I don't remember that though :3 And of course, he had a girlfriend back then. We used to be just two people who knew each other, we barely even kept in touch after he graduated from secondary school. Then one day we just started talking again, and we discovered our similarities as the days go by. Everything is so unexpected. He never fails to overwhelm me, and he makes me laugh and smile at my phone idiotically in a way no one else could.

Okay I just received his text :P I wonder what would happen to me if we stopped talking to each other? Research shows that if you keep doing the same thing continuously for 21 days, it'll become a habit. HABIT. And for how many days have we been talking to each other EVERYDAY? :3 Gosh. I couldn't imagine that. And of course I DO NOT want that to happen /.\

Okay so that's all I guess? Byeeee :P

Random stuff!

So um, I've been working on some sort of a novel... But I've only been typing it in my phone, I didn't actually WRITE it out yet. Haven't planned how long the story's gonna be, but the main character Lynn in the novel (I haven't came up with a title yet) is gonna be like Cheryl in real life. I'm like her and she's like me, and our stories are very similar too. I'd better not expose too much since I haven't finish writing it xD 

Oh yeah, I came across this guy on youtube. His videos are pretty funny AND helpful, ranging from the top 10 stupid facebook statuses to top 10 things girls like about guys or vice-versa. So check this out! 

http://www.youtube.com/user/andysunstory?feature=watch

Kay byeeee :P 

Um heyyyyyy

So yea. Exam is over. PMR and UEC are yet to come :( I hate my Junior 3 life! Got to know so many bitches this year. Well I said that cuz sometimes they really are. Don't make wild guesses or assumptions of who I'm talking about okay :)

I have nothing much to say... Since nowadays I have nothing much to feel. Once again, I'm numb. Afraid of everything. Not wanting to try. I wish I could go back in time and tell the old me to fall in love with the right person, someone who's actually worth it. 

Hmm go listen to this:

It suits me except for the "I'm still loving you" part heheheh. 

Love this :)

如果你把我的感情，当成一场游戏，我玩不起，更输不起，花言巧语，谁知道我微笑背后的痛苦，爱由一个微笑开始，一个吻成长，最终由一滴眼泪结束，受了伤，结了疤，最终还是留下痕迹，强迫自己忘了你，当爱过才知道，原来我并不能左右一切，也许无言才是最好的安慰，也许回忆是最好的结局，傻瓜也都一样，都逃不过悲伤，因为有梦在心上，所以甘心流泪。

-Copied xx