Wondering in confusion......

Look up there. Yeah. I'm now wondering in confusion /.\

So this guy... He has been ignoring me lately. Not exactly "ignoring", but I always have to wait for HOURS (more than 24 hours sometimes) till I receive a reply from him. Reason? DotA. HAHAHAHA. DotA is more important than me. YAY I AM A LOSER :D

And now other guy has appeared. He seems to be so in love in me in ways sometimes even I don't understand @@ Though I never really believe in sweet words... Cuz no one is to trust :) Even so, his words always seem to make my eyes watery and I just sit there like a retard, crying and smiling all at the same time.

So I wonder, which guy should I pick? I'm not even sure if that first guy likes me back, but... Sigh. This is so complicated. I don't wanna hurt anyone :( But I can't deny that I do have a little feelings for the second guy. I'm still attracted to the first guy too, and I did promise that I would wait for him (though I'm not really sure what am I actually waiting for, cuz I have no idea if he likes me back). UGH DAMN IT.

I honestly thought that I wouldn't fall in love or even have feelings for anyone else, but I was wrong. I'm the faithful type, to be honest. It's his fault for ignoring me all the time, while someone else is crazily trying to get my attention. But I feel really bad for treating the second guy like... Well, a second guy.

Well, I guess I shouldn't rush :') I'm still young anyway, and someday "second guy" will probably realize that I'm not as good as he thinks I am. On the other hand, "first guy" always tells me that his true self isn't what he appears to be. "Outside I'm trying to warn you about my inner beast, inside is a whole different world I'm trying to suppress"... I still remember those words he told me, but still, I couldn't figure out what message he was actually trying to convey ._. That dude really loves speaking in riddles, but then again, that's what makes me attracted to him. Yeah I know I'm weird.

So... I guess that's all for today. So freaking tired and hungry right now @@